Pleasing Others While Planning Your Wedding
From what movies have shown me, wedding planning for every bride is stressful. From what I’ve experienced, wedding planning with anxiety is a whole new level of stress.
Now, that stress isn’t for lack of excitement. Sadly, it just tends to overshadow and cloud the excitement. Marrying my best friend and celebrating with our closest family and friends will be an amazing thing! I can’t wait for the day and the weeks leading up to it as the big day gets closer and closer.
I know my anxiety over wedding planning stems from trying to please everyone. Some people may think, “it’s MY wedding! MY day. Everyone needs to do what I want!” However, that’s not at all how it is for me and I almost wish it was! So, this first post about Wedding Planning with Anxiety is about my struggles with trying to please too many people.
Making Other People Happy
I can narrow this trigger down to two specific areas:
Opinions and Suggestions from Loved Ones
Getting opinions on color schemes, venues, flowers, dresses, decorations, appetizers, entrees, cake flavors and numerous other things is taxing. It’s hard at the most basic level because everyone is busy with their own lives yet securing vendors for a specific date is time sensitive. You can’t necessarily wait for a month while you gather floral ideas from a cousin because you need to reach out to florists with your ideas to see if they can make your vision come to life and, most importantly, to see if they are even available on your wedding day!
Along with wanting opinions and including family members and friends in wedding planning, I am still trying to figure out how to best incorporate suggestions. I want to hear what other people have to say but I don’t want to offend them should I not utilize their ideas. I don’t want to push my ideas too hard on others for fear of being called the dreaded “bridezilla” but I also don’t want to regret not listening to my gut instincts. As time goes on, I am getting better at doing what my fiancé and I want more than what others suggest though because I am grasping that it truly is our special day!
Determining the Bridal Party
The decision to only have family as bridesmaids has caused me so much anxiety because I didn’t want my friends to think I didn’t value and cherish our friendships. I wanted to keep my wedding party as small and personal as possible, and that meant only including family who my fiancé and I have known for our whole lives.
I felt sooo guilty when I told people I was only have family as bridesmaids! My fiancé can attest that I talked about it way more than necessary in a year where millions of people globally have been infected with a deadly virus, but it was something that weighed heavy on my heart. I think I found a good alternative though!
Thankfully, my two closest friends are awesome and both agreed to do a reading during my wedding ceremony! I am going to find a selection of poems or some lyrics that I really like and that way I get to include my friends in a special way. Just because they are not standing at the altar with me doesn’t mean they cannot come to my wedding shower, mehndi party, potential bachelorette party and all other wedding festivities in the days leading up to the actual ceremony! Also, I’ve invited them to hang out in the bridal suite and enjoy mimosas and pre-wedding festivities because I cannot have the best day of my life without sharing those moments with them.
How Have YOU Coped with Wedding Stress?
If any other brides are reading this, please share how you managed stressful situations! I am open to any and all advice.
