Mental Illness Can Ruin a Lot of Things But Also Make Things Special
Mental illness can ruin a lot of things.
It can make finding or keeping a job hard. It can make starting new relationships, whether platonic or romantic really scary. It can end friendships and break hearts. It can make functioning without alcohol or drugs seem impossible. It can make getting out of bed a daunting task. It can make food the enemy and excessive exercise a savior. It can keep someone caught up in thoughts that swirl around and never stop, using all her energy. It can end lives prematurely.
Mental illness can ruin a lot of things.
But it can also make a lot of things special.
Mental illness can strain friendships but those that last will be unbreakable. If you have anxiety, it might take a lot of effort to get to know people. You might worry that you are being judged for what you say or wear or what kind of books you read. Maybe you fear being judged for your romantic relationships or your family. Maybe because you like cats more than dogs or that you’ve put on weight in the past few months. However, if you overcome these fears and start a friendship with someone who overcomes similar things, that friendship can last forever. Even through time and distance, friendships with a basis of honesty and trust will always be there. You don’t have to talk daily or weekly or even every month but those friendships will remain and whenever you talk, you’ll easily pick up right where you left off. I think different experiences of mental illness can make the right friendships magical.
Mental illness can add an extra layer of stress to romantic relationships but it can also make those relationships beautiful. If one partner has experience with a mental illness, she might do everything in her power to keep her partner happy because she knows how hard it is to feel sad. Little surprises like making coffee every morning just the way her boyfriend likes it. Cleaning up around the house and making sure laundry is always washed on time. Writing love notes when the feeling strikes. But, that’s not to say that the partner's mental illness makes the relationship easier. He or she is going to make it difficult when anxiety or depression or troublesome eating patterns flare up. Even if she recognizes that it is her anxiety talking, it might be hard to stop and control it in the moment. Crying or yelling over being late to leave for the grocery store might be common. Getting frustrated that the dinner she prepared isn’t good enough and apologizing that she didn’t season the chicken correctly will happen. Comparison over how she looks now versus two or five years ago will always occur thanks to social media. So will comparisons over careers and salaries and vacations and everything else under the sun. However, with the right partner all of these obstacles can be overcome through conversations and long hugs. Relationships between someone with a mental illness and someone with an open mind towards mental health are extraordinary.
I could go on some more about the ways that experiencing mental illness and learning to cope and thrive actually make things better and special. But I think I will save my other thoughts for a different day.
People just need to talk about mental health to help end the stigma. Asking for help isn’t shameful and by having open conversations about mental illness, we normalize it. Speak up. Share experiences. Reach out for help.
Here are some resources:
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE: 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line: Text “HOME” to 741741
SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
