Why I Think It Is Important Not to Compare 2020 Hardships
2020 has been hard. No one can deny that. Over 200,000 Americans have died due to COVID-19. Many, many millions of people have lost jobs which has led to a multitude of other problems like an increase in mental illness, higher rates of divorce and people unable to meet basic human needs like housing and food. We also have continuing racial inequality, families that are struggling with distance learning, leadership that doesn’t believe in science, extreme immigration limitations and a slew of other hardships.
My own mental health has suffered greatly as my fiance and I have been working-from-home together since the beginning of March. We have a 1-bedroom apartment so that means I work in the bedroom, he works in the living room and when our work days are done we either spend more time in the bedroom or the living room. The only other space we have is a bathroom! It gets hard looking at the same limited spaces 24/7 for months on end. Who knew that no longer commuting to work would be something I occasionally miss?!
I know what some people might think, why should I complain? We both still have jobs. We have an apartment. We have delicious food on our table. We got engaged this year! But in order to process hardships we have to acknowledge them and can’t live our lives comparing everything to other people. If I act like my situation isn’t stressful, then I am doing myself a disservice. I have to acknowledge my stress and anxiety so that I can process it and start to reframe my thinking.
About a month ago, I bought myself “The Anti-Anxiety Notebook” after seeing an ad on Instagram. It is described as, “a perfect companion for your mental health journey” because the journal entries are structured off of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques and helps the user “track your patterns, become more aware and improve over time.” There are a few appendices that include CBT Basic, Cognitive Distortions and The Feelings Wheel. This notebook is brilliant! I’ve had a few other “anxiety notebooks” over the years that mainly have different exercises and reminders to breathe, however, this notebook actually helps me to understand my thought processes and addresses how I can reframe my thoughts. I have only written entries a couple of times so far but I would recommend this to anyone who truly wants to improve his or her mental health.
The last three months of 2020 are going to continue to be difficult. The warm summer nights of dining outside and enjoying a cocktail with friends are ending. We are going to spend even more time cooped up inside. The clouds and dreary weather will be more common and seasonal depression will kick in again. But, I am going to do my best to keep my mental health in check. That is hard, especially since I am an Empath who takes on other’s sadness and fears. I can’t seem to get on a regular blogging schedule or even a simple exercise one but I am going to work on improving that. I vow to write more cards to friends in the hopes that a piece of mail will bring a much needed smile. To use my Anti-Anxiety journal whenever I feel myself becoming overwhelmed by a situation. To enjoy the holiday season even though it looks incredibly different from all past years. To understand that even though all of humanity is experiencing COVID-19, the way each individual processes changes and hardships is different.
So, from a cloudy and brisk Pittsburgh, I wish everyone a great weekend!
